Keeping the boss happy
by JellybeanChiChi
Summary: Ecklie tells his wife he's played Cupid with her favorite fantasy couple. Will they play the game to help out the boss? Friendship story, not love story. Humor I hope . T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to CSI.

A/N: This is a Grillows friendship story, not a love story. It's silly, but I hope you enjoy it. Special thanks to VR Trakowski for her speedy edit and ever-encouraging words. READ HER STUFF! It is da bomb.

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Chapter 1

With only an hour left on his shift, Gil Grissom strode down the halls of the crime lab with his nose in a file. As he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose for the second time, his brisk gait was interrupted by an unwelcome distraction.

"Grissom," Ecklie said as he stopped in front of him. Ecklie hoped to stop Grissom in his tracks, but it didn't work. Grissom merely looked up, said a simple, "Good morning, Conrad," and went around his supervisor.

Conrad stood with his hands on his hips. "Dammit," he swore to himself. "Nothing's easy with this guy."

Ecklie caught up with Grissom and walked with him step for step. "Grissom, I need you to attend John Holburn's retirement party tonight."

Although still engrossed in the file in his hand, Grissom asked, "What for, Conrad? There doesn't seem to be a reason for me to attend."

"I need you to be there. That should be reason enough," Ecklie replied.

Grissom stopped and closed his file.

"Conrad, I have a shift at midnight, and I don't think I have even talked to Holburn since he moved to the communications office seven years ago." Grissom said and gave Ecklie a skeptical look.

"It's important that every office and shift of the crime lab be represented at the event, and that includes the graveyard shift, Grissom. You don't have to be there all night. Just be seen and that should be enough."

Grissom acquiesced. "Fine. I'll be there. Where do I go?"

Ecklie shifted a bit. "You need to come here. It's invitation only, and I don't have yours with me. I'll give it to you tonight. Get here around 6. Suit and tie, no need for formal wear."

Grissom shook his head and left down the hall, concentrating once again on his file. As Grissom briskly moved through the halls again, Ecklie stood in his wake and let out a sigh of relief.

"One down. One to go."

That night, Grissom walked through the halls in his midnight blue suit. He fiddled a bit with his tie. As he made his way toward Ecklie's office, he saw Catherine and gave a double take. The two now walked in the same direction.

"Catherine. Don't you look... overdressed and early for your shift," Grissom said, offering a coy smile.

Catherine didn't return the smile, but looked more perplexed at Grissom's appearance. "Did you have a late court date? What are you doing here looking like that?"

Now Grissom seemed perplexed. They weren't just walking in the same direction. They had the same destination.

"Did Ecklie ask you to attend the Holburn party?"

"Yeah. Said I had to represent the graveyard shift."

"Really?" Grissom said.

They both entered Ecklie's office where Ecklie was nervously pacing and talking on his phone. "I'll be in the car in like," Ecklie looked up at his visitors, "10 minutes. No more. ... Yes, honey. I know you don't like to be late. We won't be. ... They just stepped in my office. ... Yes. OK. You too. Goodbye."

Ecklie tried to smile, but it looked anything but genuine. "You guys look good."

Grissom didn't waste a minute. "Conrad, why did you tell us both we need to be present at the party? I think Catherine is more than capable to represent our shift."

"While I'm not going to disagree with you, Gil, I need both of you to go."

"Why?"

"Again, Grissom, I think my telling you to be there should be reason enough."

"I disagree," Grissom said, temper rising.

Catherine witnessed the pissing match, and before it could go on, she interjected. "Conrad, what is going on? There must be a reason you want us both there." Then Catherine offered a smile and made a remark to lighten the mood. "What, do you and the wife need to have a 'double date'?"

As Catherine lightly laughed at her joke, Conrad's face showed no humor. He looked like he was hiding something, and he wasn't doing a good job because Catherine and Grissom both noticed.

Since Ecklie said nothing, Grissom began to loosen his tie and said, "Goodnight Conrad."

Ecklie flew from behind his desk and yelled, "Grissom don't! Don't go."

Ecklie quickly regained his composure, but Catherine spoke up first. "OK, Conrad, what's going on? How does this somehow involve Diane?"

Upon hearing his wife's name, Conrad moved behind Catherine and Grissom and closed his office door. "I need you two to go together to the event. I would consider it a personal favor, one I would not forget."

Grissom wasn't impressed. "Goodnight Conrad."

"Catherine! Please say something to him."

"Not until you tell us what the hell is going on," Catherine said, hands on her hips.

Conrad took a deep breath and offered a pathetic look.

"Diane is looking forward to seeing you two tonight. ... Seeing you two as a couple."

"WHAT!" exclaimed the "couple" in unison.

"Look, you two may or may not know about my relationship with my wife, but it's been fragile over the last few years," Ecklie confessed. His two confessors looked uncomfortable and uninterested.

"I'm still not understanding what this has to do with us," Catherine said, pointing from herself to Grissom.

"She keeps telling me I don't appreciate her and I don't appreciate love. It goes on and on. ... Well, since I can't seem to satisfy her with personal romantic gestures, I ... made ... one up."

"What did you tell her?" Grissom fumed.

"She always thought you two would make a great couple, so I told her I played Cupid for you two. She was thrilled with me."

Ecklie sported a dopey grin. Catherine looked angry. Grissom looked incredulous.

Ecklie continued, "When she found out about this dinner, she kept hounding me, 'Are Gil and Catherine going to be there?'"

Ecklie noticed he still had not won the couple over.

'I'm not sure how long she's going to buy this. And if she finds out I lied..." Ecklie trailed off and looked at them hoping they would understand.

Again, it didn't seem to be working.

"Listen, if you don't go together tonight, it will have to be dinner at my place for several weekends. Might as well get it over with."

Everyone was silent, until...

"Goodnight Conrad," and Grissom walked out.

"Catherine, please talk to him!"

Catherine reluctantly went after her friend. "Grissom, wait. Maybe we should just stop and talk about this."

Grissom spun around. "Talk about what? Are you crazy? Do you really want to participate in this charade so Ecklie can..."

"Get laid by his wife?"

"I was going to say 'appease' his wife."

"Well, maybe you should see it from my point of view. Who would you rather work with — an Ecklie getting laid or an Ecklie NOT getting laid because YOU wouldn't play a little game?"

"Neither choice is appealing," Grissom retorted. "Catherine, I can't act like we're together. No offense to you, but I ... I just can't. And do you really want to be seen as my 'significant other?'"

Catherine made a face. "You got a point there. OK. We have to establish ground rules with him. ... Look, he said he would see this as a personal favor. If we do this for him, he might help you by being lenient with Sara when she comes back."

Why did she have to say that? Why does she have to make sense? Grissom took a couple of deep breaths.

"Ground rules," he repeated.

"Ground rules," she agreed.

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TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to CSI.

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Chapter 2

Grissom and Catherine went back to Ecklie's office and made it perfectly clear how the evening would pan out. Cocktails were first and while Ecklie wanted them there, the two disagreed. Too many people and too many circumstances in which Diane would expect public displays of affection. Instead, Catherine and Grissom would sneak into the dining area after cocktail hour was over and get to a table where Conrad and Diane would be sitting.

Stipulations included that the table be in an area with an obstructed view of the podium, be right next to an exit, and the other two seats of the 6-person table must be "saved" for a couple who would never show up.

And, under no circumstances, would Diane be allowed to vocalize the fact that Grissom and Catherine were a couple. No sharing, no outbursts of emotions. Catherine suggested that Ecklie tell his wife she is privy to a very tight-lipped secret that only she and her husband knew.

"That is frosting on a cake for a woman," Catherine said.

As far as PDAs go, it would follow in the same vein as a tightly chaperoned junior high dance – minimal touching and only in innocent areas.

Ecklie left to join his wife in the car. Grissom and Catherine would meet them in about 45 minutes for the dinner portion of the evening.

"Come on," Catherine said to Grissom. "Let's get this date started right. You need to pay for some drinks if you plan to get some tonight."

Catherine laughed and swatted a surprised Grissom on his butt.

He sighed. It was going to be a long evening.

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"OK, are you ready?"

Grissom sighed. "Yeah. Let's go."

Catherine and Grissom stood in the hotel lobby and waited in the back until they spotted Conrad and Diane. Once those two entered, Catherine and Grissom stealthily followed several people. They made it to Conrad's table without suspicions from other partiers.

Diane's face lit up as she saw the couple approach the table. Oh God, Grissom thought, she's filled with glee.

He was right.

"Oh, just look at you two! You're adorable!" Diane grabbed her husband's hand trying to get him to agree. He just put his arm around her and whispered the "remember not to make a scene" lecture he gave her in the car.

Diane smiled and mouthed a sentence to the "couple." Although Catherine had no idea what Diane said, she offered a "smile/nod" in her direction.

Grissom cursed under his breath, wishing for the first time in his life that he did not know how to read lips. No, Grissom thought, Catherine is NOT better for me than Sara.

Grissom could have done it. He could have busted Ecklie right there. And, oh, he would have enjoyed it. But he recalled two things. First, the last stipulation: that this was a one-time event. There would no future "dates," no coincidental run-ins. No sequels.

And second: Catherine's reasoning that Ecklie would be more likely to be lenient towards Sara if she wished to return to the lab. For those two reasons, and those alone, Grissom could stomach one evening.

At the table Catherine sat between Grissom and Ecklie and there were two empty seats between Diane and Grissom. Catherine surmised that was where the 2-ton gorilla would be sitting for the rest of the evening if somebody didn't try to break the freakin' tension. Seeing that Grissom was frozen, Catherine figured it would be up to her, as usual.

"So Diane, where did you get that dress," Catherine said twisting her hair with her left hand and reaching for Grissom's hand on the table with her right.

That movement jostled Grissom from his stupor to perform the "intimacy dance" Catherine developed before she and Grissom arrived at the dinner.

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Before reaching the hotel where the dinner would be held, Catherine and Grissom sat at a hotel bar across the street.

"First I'll put my hand on yours. It stays there for a short while…"

"How long?" Grissom interrupted.

"What do you mean, 'How long?' Jesus, Gil, I know you're dense, but figure it out," Catherine said.

"Right," Grissom said. "So, you think 12 seconds?"

Catherine rubbed her forehead as she finished off her screwdriver. "Fine, 12 seconds, but if you start looking down at your watch at the same time, Diane might figure out this is an act."

"Right," Grissom agreed.

"You're going to count it in your head, aren't you, genius?"

"No," Grissom said. "Well, … I was. Yes."

"Then don't move your lips, Romeo," Catherine said, and she explained the rest of the dance. After the "hands on the table" deal, Grissom should move his hand under the table as if to put his hand on her thigh. But he would put his hand on the edge of her chair and move his arm slightly back and forth as if he were stroking her thigh.

"Why don't I just put my hand on my thigh under the table and stroke my own leg?" Grissom asked.

"Because then it will look like you're jacking off."

"Oh, right. I don't want that."

"Neither do I," Catherine agreed. "You really do suck at this."

Grissom said nothing. But, yeah, she was right.

After doing that for a short time ("Yes, Gil, about 12 seconds again is fine"), he should put his arm across the back of her chair and at that time she would do the "chair stroke" on Grissom's chair. Grissom would put his hand back on the table and the dance could start again when Catherine would place her hand on top of Grissom's.

"Got it?" Catherine asked and Grissom nodded. "Great. Get me another drink and we'll get going."

"You're on shift tonight," Grissom warned.

"Trust me, what we are about to face will sober me up quick. Until then, loverboy, get me a freakin' drink."

Grissom did not argue with his date.

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He tried not to be mechanical with his movements, but Grissom probably looked mechanical because he felt like Diane was staring at him the entire evening. When Diane leaned over to talk to Ecklie, Catherine took that moment to coach Grissom some more.

"Stop counting in your head and try to smile, you dope."

"Is the tension showing?" he whispered back.

Catherine looked at him, let out a giggle and smacked his cheek a couple of times with her hand, and said, out loud for only her table mates to hear, "Gil, of course."

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TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to CSI.

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Chapter 3

As they ate their meal, Conrad smiled at the couple and said, "Could you excuse us both for a minute? We're going to say hello to Philip Beck and his wife."

"Of course," Gil said, and he stood up as a lady left the table.

"OK, when can we leave?" Grissom asked Catherine as he sat down.

"I think we'll be in the clear soon. Conrad's coming back. Maybe now is the perfect time to ask."

"OK, Ecklie," Grissom said as he and Catherine rose from their chairs. "I think Catherine and I will get going."

Conrad sat down at the table and motioned Catherine and Grissom to do the same. "She's not buying it."

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked.

"You guys can't leave without her convinced. She told me you two look uneasy, not like a lovestruck couple," Conrad said and looked desperate. "She already asked me if you two really were a couple, which is one step away of accusing me of lying."

"We can't help that, Ecklie," Grissom said.

"You … have … to … give … her … something," Ecklie said as he got right into the couple's faces. "Why don't you go back there by the restrooms and I'll suggest she get back there so she can run into you two…," Ecklie fiddled with his hands, "you know."

Both Catherine and Grissom gave Ecklie frustrated looks.

"Do that and then leave. And, again, I will not forget this favor," Ecklie said. "She'll be sworn to secrecy. I swear. And the way you two have acted tonight, even if she slipped, who'd believe her?"

Before Grissom could argue, Catherine took a deep breath, grabbed Grissom's hand and said, "Fine. Goodnight, Conrad."

And they stood near the restrooms.

Slaves of Ancient Rome who waited to be thrown to the lions looked less nervous.

"Gil, for Christ's sake, stop fidgeting. Your attitude is beginning to piss me off."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Grissom said sarcastically. "I'm not sure how to act for forced prostitution."

That made Catherine laugh. "You are such a fucking prude."

Catherine's mood quickly changed. "She's coming. OK. Let's go."

And they kissed. Mouths locked. Catherine peeked from one eye to see Diane look at them then enter the ladies room. Catherine pulled away from Grissom.

"Oh my God," Catherine said.

"Yeah," Grissom agreed.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"That was the absolute worst kiss I have ever experienced," Catherine stated.

"Yeah," Grissom agreed.

"Jesus GIl, tell me you don't kiss Sara like that?"

"Catherine, that was in no way totally my fault."

"Oh please, Gil, I'm still wiping your spit off my mouth."

"Catherine, you slipped me the tongue."

"Well, what the hell did you expect? We were supposed to look like a couple."

"So you knocked your teeth against mine and then tried to floss my teeth with your tongue? I had no idea that was the drill."

"You know, Grissom, I have never, ever, had one complaint about my kissing. In fact I think I have heard the word 'breathtaking' escape my partner's lips on many an occasion."

"Yes, breathtaking. You're tongue did indeed block my air pipe. And, by the way, I've never had complaints either..."

"Oh jeez," Catherine said as she saw Diane open the restroom door to leave. She cut Grissom him off with yet another awkward kiss. Grissom broke it apart with the most fake lovestruck face he could muster.

"Just can't get enough," Grissom said, astonishing himself with his cheesiness.

Diane was again filled with glee.

"So that's why you looked so rigid," she said batting Catherine's arm with her hand. "You two just wanted some privacy."

OK, Catherine thought, first Grissom insults my kissing and now Conrad Ecklie's wife describes me as rigid. This has got to stop.

Catherine pushed herself totally upon Grissom, which made him grab her in an embrace. "Well, you know how it is Diane," Catherine said in a suggestive voice as she stroked Grissom's chest with her left hand. "Once you get started, it's hard to stop."

With that, her right hand moved from Grissom's waist to his butt, causing him to shift uncomfortably and let out a startled "umphh."

"Yes," Grissom said, his face an intense shade of vermillion. "Wouldn't want to stop."

Catherine enjoyed Grissom's discomfort and just let that right hand pinch and poke at his backside.

Diane just took the scene in like a cheap romance paperback.

"Ha ha ha. Honey," Grissom said, and he grabbed Catherine in an embrace, and tucked his head in the crook of her neck. It might have looked as if he was kissing her neck, but instead he gently whispered in Catherine's ear, "1995 Halloween party photos on the office bulletin board."

Catherine offered her own nervous "ha ha ha's," and quickly removed said hand from said butt.

"You know Diane, we both have to work tonight," Catherine said, her own face slightly flushed. "We should get going. And remember, mum's the word."

"Oh, of course," Diane said most pleased with the turn of events. "Our little secret. How exciting!"

And they left, swiftly.

When they reached the parking lot, Catherine grabbed Grissom's arm. "You told me you destroyed all those photos, you jackass!"

"I did," Grissom confessed his bluff. "Catherine, you gave me no other choice. I figured you were about to put your hand down my pants."

"HA!" Catherine exclaimed. "You wish!"  
"Yeah, well, maybe," Grissom said, with a chuckle.

Catherine just swatted her friend. The two laughed together as Grissom opened her car door and then drove them back to the lab.

"You know," Catherine said as she sat in the passenger seat. "I don't know why you were so nervous about appearances. I'm the one who looks the worst in this relationship."

Grissom looked at her totally confused. "What are you talking about?"  
"I'm the rebound girl. No matter what, the rebound girl always looks desperate."  
"Catherine, there is no way anyone could ever describe you as 'desperate."  
Catherine looked touched. "Gil, that is the nicest thing you've said to me tonight." She pulled down the passenger visor so she could check herself in the vanity mirror. "You know, you're lucky I have such as healthy self-esteem," Catherine teased. "You're at a dinner with me while I'm looking hot and you don't even compliment my looks, and then you insult my kissing."

Grissom smirked and chuckled. Healthy self-esteem indeed. They stopped at a light and Grissom looked at his friend. "Catherine, you look even more lovely than usual, however I guess I take that for granted because, well, I'm an engaged man."

Catherine was shocked. "Well," she stammered. "Then you're forgiven."  
"Thank you," Grissom said.

"And congratulations."

"Thank you."

They were silent for a moment, but Catherine had to know. "When did that happen?"

"A few weeks before Sara left."

Catherine found her mood go from surprised to sad. "Gil, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well, hon, I mean, after all you two went through and you go and get engaged. That's a big deal," Catherine said. "And then she leaves. That seems," she almost didn't want to say it, "devastating."

Grissom smiled, "Actually, our engagement is the affirmation that makes me realize she will come back to me."

Catherine looked at Grissom. He was something else. For the first time that evening, she put her hand over his as a gesture of comfort, instead of discomfort.

"I don't know how Diane will take the news of our break-up," Catherine said to lighten the mood. "Ah, who cares. I'll just say you were an asshole."

"Works for me," Grissom said.

"You know what?" Catherine said. "The next time someone plays Cupid with me, they better know what the hell they are doing."

"True," Grissom agreed as he entered the lab parking lot.

When he stopped the car, he realized that Catherine was not moving to open her door. Grissom gave her a smile, got out of the car, and went to her side to open her car door.

The date wasn't officially over until they entered the lab.

"Well, I guess this outfit will go to waste," Catherine said as she stretched her legs. "And look, two hours early for shift. Well, that's just perfect. Since you are still on the 'date clock,' take my keys and get my kit and duffel bag out of my car. I'm going to see if there anything I can steal from the break room."

She passed her keys at Grissom. "And don't drop a thing out of my makeup bag."

"Yes, dear," Grissom said.

And with that Catherine turned to leave, but couldn't resist one last swat on the ass.

Grissom smiled as he walked to Catherine's car. As he was getting the stuff out (How much makeup does one woman need? He wondered), Warrick came behind him.

"Hey boss. What's with the suit?"

"Had to attend a retirement party," Grissom said. "You're here early."

"I guess I'm kind of restless."

Grissom gave him an understanding nod. "Hey, Warrick, Catherine got here early and is cranky because she hasn't eaten. She sent me here to find some food she stashed in her bags, but I think I might have tipped over her makeup bag."

"Oh, bad form, man."

Grissom zipped up the two bags. "Could you run these bags up to her before she takes her rage out on everyone?"

"Will do. But I'm not taking the blame for the make-up."

"Blame that on me."

"OK, where is she?"  
"I'm sure she's raiding the break room."

Warrick started laughing. "That sounds about right."

Warrick took long, fast strides into the lab. Grissom grabbed Catherine's kit and keys to give her later this evening.

For now, maybe that outfit would get appreciated and spark a dinner invitation before shift, he thought.

At least, he hoped so. Because Cupid's got nothing on Gil Grissom.

THE END

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Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.


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